Local Man Declares Himself ‘Lord of the Cul-de-Sac,’ Demands Tribute in Recycling Bins

Fairview, Ohio, July 13, 2024 – In a move that has bewildered and amused residents, local man Greg Thompson has declared himself "Lord of the Cul-de-Sac," demanding tribute in the form of meticulously sorted recycling bins.

Greg, a 45-year-old accountant with a penchant for medieval reenactments, made his proclamation on a sunny Saturday morning. Clad in homemade armor crafted from aluminum cans and wielding a pool noodle scepter, he stood atop a hastily assembled throne of old newspapers and cereal boxes.

"From this day forth, I shall be known as Gregor the Green, Protector of the Recycling Code, and Keeper of the Trash," he announced to a small gathering of bemused neighbors. "All who reside within this cul-de-sac shall pay homage to me with their carefully sorted recyclables!"

His declaration has since sent ripples through the quiet community of Fairview. Residents have responded with a mixture of confusion, amusement, and grudging compliance.

"I thought it was a joke at first," said Linda Matthews, who lives three houses down. "But then Greg—or Gregor—came to my door and inspected my recycling bin. He gave me a thumbs up and said I was doing a noble job. It was weirdly encouraging."

Thompson's reign has introduced a series of peculiar decrees. He has instituted weekly "Recycling Rituals," where neighbors gather to sort their recyclables under his watchful eye. He has also banned the use of single-use plastics and proclaimed the start of the "Great Compost Crusade."

Despite the oddity of the situation, some residents are surprisingly supportive.

"Honestly, our recycling rates have never been better," admitted Tom Jenkins, another neighbor. "If calling Greg 'Lord of the Cul-de-Sac' is what it takes to keep our planet green, I’m all for it."

Not everyone is on board with the new regime, however. Betty Roberts, an 82-year-old retired teacher, has taken to calling Greg "The Trash Tyrant" and insists that he’s taking things too far.

"I’ve lived here for 50 years, and I’ll be darned if some tin-can knight is going to tell me what to do with my milk jugs," she declared defiantly.

In response to her resistance, Gregor the Green has issued a formal challenge: a recycling sorting duel at dawn, with the winner taking control of the coveted corner lot’s compost heap.

As the community braces for this unprecedented showdown, one thing is clear: Fairview will never look at recycling the same way again.

Local news sources will continue to monitor the situation and provide updates on the outcomes of the duel, the compliance of residents, and any further decrees from the self-proclaimed Lord of the Cul-de-Sac.