Bernie Sanders: 'I Guess It's My Turn Now, Right? Right?'

Following President Joe Biden's surprising exit from the 2024 presidential race, Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders has once again found himself in the national spotlight. As he adjusted his iconic glasses and took to the podium, Sanders seemed ready to dust off his campaign trail shoes. Third Time's the Charm? "Well, folks, I guess it's my turn now, right? Right?" Sanders exclaimed to a crowd of enth...

July 23, 2024

Windows Computers Join 'Blue Lives Matter' Movement Thanks to CrowdStrike

In a groundbreaking development that has left tech enthusiasts and IT professionals alike scratching their heads, Windows computers worldwide have spontaneously joined the "Blue Lives Matter" movement. This surprising turn of events comes courtesy of CrowdStrike's latest Falcon sensor update, which has brought the iconic Blue Screen of Death (BSOD) to unprecedented prominence. The Blue Revolution

July 19, 2024

Biden Contracts COVID Again, Declares It His 'New Running Mate'

Third Time's the Charm In an unprecedented move, President Joe Biden has announced that COVID-19 will be his new running mate for the 2024 election. After testing positive for the virus for the third time, Biden joked that the persistent pathogen has shown more dedication than any other candidate. A Symbiotic Campaign “COVID and I have been through a lot together,” Biden quipped from his home in D...

July 18, 2024

Universal Announces 15 More Fast and Furious Movies, Hints That Future Plot Might Include Cars Time-Travelling to Ancient Rome

In an unprecedented move that has left fans both exhilarated and mildly confused, Universal Studios has announced the development of 15 additional Fast and Furious movies. This thrilling expansion promises not only more high-octane car chases but also tantalizing hints that the franchise might be steering into the realm of time travel, with ancient Rome as its next destination. The Road Ahead: Fro...

July 17, 2024